Feeling trapped in a mall with no credit cards.

gimme

I wish:

.....
.....
.....
.....


Does it really matter?

Do you love me?

Brooke: I wanted you to fight for me!
Lucas: How am i supposed to know that?
Brooke: You just are...

" Please keep fighting.
Keep fighting...
Together we can build something beautiful.
Please keep fighting.
Together we'll build love... "




- Lúcia Moniz

R

TODAY WAS THE DAY.

AND SO WAS THE NIGHT...

Quando se perde alguém nunca é exactamente a mesma pessoa que regressa.





- Sharon Olds

"Escreves-me cartas,
sou o destinatário da tua solidão.
E sempre compreendo tudo,
mesmo o que não dizes,
o que tinge as entrelinhas de um branco desespero
que é tanto teu como meu: não tens
quem te salve, envelheceste,
trataste mal de um jardim que não chegou a vingar.
Se nos cruzássemos nas ruas desta cidade
entre desconhecidos de toda a sorte,
talvez nos sentássemos a falar da nossa vida, isto é,
de como vamos ficando cada vez mais orfãos
de nós próprios. Ou, pensando bem, talvez não."



- Rui Pires Cabral

consegues sentir?

"nas horas em que as mãos insistem em ter frio
está no meio da casa
com os dedos a recortar o ar
o calor por vezes não passa de um cigarro perdido no vazio

é sempre tarde para conhecer todas as palavras que abandonam a pele

nada habita o que só a mulher repete
talvez o tempo seja este espaço a esfregar os olhos

quando as palavras contornam as sombras
fechar os olhos ao deixado para trás

apetece-lhe dizer: estou aqui
a tentar brincar com fósforos a retirar saudade do que da chama queima
sem me queimar"



- http://images.google.pt/imgres?imgurl=http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/746/andycatlin9xq.jpg&imgrefurl=http://theresonly1alice.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_archive.html&usg=__Y4jDDkP3DNGLE7ekewrQFQnjzho=&h=589&w=436&sz=35&hl=pt-PT&start=40&tbnid=ndB2QE1jjhEp4M:&tbnh=135&tbnw=100&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dthink%26start%3D36%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Dpt-PT%26sa%3DN

"I used to get away with so much
Now I can't get away

I even thought that it was simple to say the things I wanted to say
And you told me everything I wanted to hear
And you sold me

Now I don't know how I should feel
I should know me and baby you would think I'd know better"

And it hurts to want everything and nothing
at the same time...


if i can't say what i want.
i can't say who i am...

need to run so i can get here, somehow...


Raquel Aquino, who is she anyway?

"I've never faced so many emotional days but my life is good.

I'm riding the highs. I'm digging the lows 'cause at least I feel alive."



-(Michelle Branch)

"Sometimes it's hard to learn to let go.
Life always knows the right moments to show you what you needed."



- (Michelle Branch)

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Now don't just walk away pretending everything's okay
And you don't care about me

And I know it's just no use when all your lies become your truths
And I don't care

Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now
Are you happy now

You took all there was to take and left me with an empty plate
And you dont care about it

And I am giving up this game and leaving you with all the blame
'Cause I dont care

Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now
Are you happy now
Are you happy now

Do you really have everything you want
You can't ever give something you ain't got
You can't runaway from yourself

Could you look me in the eyes and tell me that you're happy now
C'mon Tell it to my face or have I been replaced
Are you happy now

Would you look me in the eye
Could you look me in the eye
I've had all that I can take
I'm not about to break 'cause I'm happy now

There are only a few who can reach my soul.

Now, even i can't get to it.

Xerife

às vezes penso na rapidez com que desapareceste.
às vezes dou por mim a pensar que mal te cheguei a conhecer, mas sei o quão boa pessoa eras...
quero por vezes acreditar que ainda te posso conhecer, que ainda vais ser aquele rapaz que me cumprimenta com o tão educado beijinho na mão. quero acreditar que ainda me vais cumprimentar assim, porque desde então nunca mais ninguém o fez...
queria poder pensar que estás bem. saber que foi pelo melhor. mas ninguém me pode dar certezas disso... então não consigo deixar de pensar na hipótese de não saber onde tu estás. sei de tudo à tua volta que provocou o que te aconteceu, mas depois dou por mim revoltada e a chorar horas e horas e a encharcar-me em calmantes, mesmo nao te conhecendo à tanto tempo assim. porque cá dentro sei que andam aí milhões de pessoas q faziam o mesmo que tu, e não te condeno! e continuam a fazer pior a outras tantas. tu só foste mais um de nós que se deixou levar... mas se me perguntassem diria que eras uma pessoa completamente normal! aliás, normal não, muito boa pessoa. pelo menos comigo sempre o foste, apesar dos nossos raros encontros, sempre me deixaste imenso à vontade contigo. ainda me lembro de quando me guardaste aquele isqueiro, esquecida como sou esquecime de te pedir de novo, e tu devolveste-me com um sorriso na cara no bbc. lembrome de tudo. lembro-me da tua cara, lembro-me do teu riso que parecia de uma série cómica qualquer! queria poder lembrar-me de mais, mas não posso... irrita-me saber que estavas a deixar de fumar, e mesmo assim ter-te acontecido o que aconteceu. fez-me tanta confusão o teu funeral, ver toda a gente a conter as lágrimas para poder dar força a quem tinha ao seu lado, e os teus pais... o que eu chorei ao vê-los... nunca mais os vi desde então, e penso na mágoa que eles devem sentir todos os dias... ver aquele monte de terra, e saber que estavas lá debaixo, e que não sais mais de lá, dá-me uma confusão horrível! só te imaginava ali deitado debaixo, com 23 anos... olhava nos olhos das pessoas, e só via um vazio em todas elas. quis ir para poder dar uma força, mas acabei por ser das que chorou mais, desculpa-me mas não conseguia conter as lágrimas, ainda tudo me faz imensa confusão... escrevi-te isto porque acho que toda a gente se orgulha de te ter conhecido. quero por vezes acreditar que ainda te posso conhecer, que ainda vais ser aquele rapaz que me cumprimenta com o tão educado beijinho na mão...

Queria queria queria. agora não sei se quero mais.

tenho medo de querer. tenho medo de dizer que não quero.

tenho medo que deixe de saber se quero ou não...

Quero bem. Quero mal.

Será que quero mesmo?

"As so many it was one day,
Like so many as today!"

"Our romantic picnics turn into football. Boys will be boys."

"the credits are rolling. love's just a movie.
there's always an end."

Try again

"Perfect
straight from a movie
he says all the right things
you know he's the one

Next time around
try again"

"I could wait for you;
like that hole in your boot; waiting to be fixed;
i could wait for you; what good would that do; but to leave me bruised?
I wanna hear what you have to say about me, i wanna hear what you want!

i remember everything!"

don't take me for granted

Sometimes i wish i didn't have to say a word...

GIRLS...

Mind is a razorblade PF

"A mess of youthful innocence.

One night of magic rush. The start - a simple touch. One night to push and scream and then relief... You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use... Maybe it's meant to be Lovers... Strangers... that's why i did what i did. and i'm still doing it. Do you ever get the feeling that we started in the middle ? I am reminded we are nothing more than memories... But you can't say what you want or take what you want or choose the moods that you fake when you want... but i'm trying hard to... both of us know it wasn't a choice, it was a lack of one. And as you know, sometimes, it isn't about what people see. Sometimes it's about what people don't... well, is it? does it really matter what i feel? it should matter to me, and no one else... Even if your memory has faded with the passage of time, the richness of the colors in those days never once subsided.
It's simple, i only have to think that If i don't remember, did it really happen?

i'm not playing. i'm just doing it my way...
I've got dreams to remember.
Paper dreams, honey ."

Kapital

"One more chance to get it right.

One more chance to get it wrong."

"rp"

"o perdão não é um acto, é uma atitude."

The only problem was that you were using me In a different way that I was using you...

-Are you home for good?

-Or for bad...

Or you say too much, or you don't say enough, and then they're gone...

Sometimes they come back...

People always leave...

I'm going all the way!



meet me halfway, please.

STOP AND STARE

i understand your care and concern but step back one moment.
take those feet out of your emotional shoes for a little while and listen to yourself.
try for a minute to look at the situation from my tear filled eyes.


i have ethics. i have feelings too. it really hurts okay. it really really does.
the one thing i can't come to terms is your level of superstition in things that i would deem completely ridiculous.


you don't even know me well enough to judge. in fact you don't know me at all. 30 minutes does no one justice. to what extent is instinct a justifable reason to shut someone out completely.

i would love to let you in on what i'm really about and understand where you're coming from but i know for certain you're not ready just yet.
i wouldn't say i am either. my open wound has been torn open too many times over...

someday. one day. you watch.

" "i can help fix it for you"
"how?"
"disappear.."
"that will only make things worse!"
".. only for a little while"
"nonsense!"
"..."

she spread her arms out wide. breathed in the break of dawn. she just let go of all she held... and then she was gone."

the way we are

you don't have to be afraid. i'm right here...

Maybe i'll go...

its so hard everytime i think about it.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
LET ME GET WHAT I WANT!

a secret i'll never tell

" Someone once said:
It’s the good girls who keep diaries.
The bad girls never have the time.
Me… I just wanna live a life I’m gonna remember.
Even if I don’t write it down. "

Save your face. You know you only got one.

" Nathanial Hawthorne once wrote: No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself -- and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true. "

BYE BYE MR. AMERICAN PIE

" BROOKE: YOU DON'T GET TO HAVE ME. NOT MY BODY, AND SURE AS HELL NOT MY HEART. WE'RE DONE. "

guys always get what they want!

" Brooke: Why does everybody lie? You know, the bad guys lie to get you into bed. And good guys lie to get in your heart. And I'm the idiot that falls for it everytime.

Lucas: Hey... Brooke you're not an idiot, not even close. You know who you are. Most people don't, you know...i mean, that's why they lie. But afraid, people might find out who they are before they figure it out themselves... "

PF. BUT NOW, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!

" -eu nunca falei em felicidade. eu falei em amor, em paixão, em momentos arrebatadores. falei em sexo na porta da cozinha, no chão da sala, na secratária do escritório. falei em rosas à porta da sala de aula. falei em nomes carinhosos gritados no meio do corredor da escola. falei em beijos de cinema à chuva. falei em passeios na praia. falei em cigarros na varanda ao pôr do sol. falei em zangas matinais depois de uma noite agressiva. falei em risos, em conversas parvas. falei em sofás, televisão e leite com chocolate. falei em corridas pela casa e escondidas debaixo dos lençóis. falei em copos de água pela cabeça abaixo, falei em cantar no chuveiro. falei só numa toalha. falei em guerras por causa do comando.falei em música no máximo e danças de t-shirt comprida.
não falei em felicidade.
-isso não é felicidade?
-não, é muito mais do que isso.
-não estou a perceber.
-eu sei... "

But now, i'm the one that get it. i'm the one who can regret something, i'm the one who did the best. All the best that i could have done is done. you're the one to blame, you're the one who should be ashamed, i know i am by staying with you for a while, cause after all, you're a boy with no respect, neither for you or for the others. I thought you were a better person. Not likewise. And after all, i'm proud of who i am. Can you look at youserlf in the mirror without thinking you're hurting someone? I hope not. I have a mind of my own. that's why i don't care anymore...

- http://hi5.com/friend/profile/displayJournal.do?ownerId=23768036

what do you want from me?

" You don't remember what it's like, do you? You don't remember what it's like to love.So what exactly have you done to get here? Does it hurt to ask?You can pretend to be self-sufficient. You can create momentary diversions; distract yourself from your truth. What truth? I speak about the truth you insist on blocking. This very same truth which creeps into your mind for split seconds many times during the day. Does it not? Let me just say that fear means you are secretly in despair. You want to open your eyes but you are so far away from light that you remain in the darkness. And you are content here; sun-deprived, for a short-while.Why do you live a life of blockage and denial? Because living freely hurts you, since you do not understand it.So you surround yourself with ordinaries, and that is what you attract, an ordinary existence.And you are content here; mediocre and empty, for a short-while.

Then you wonder why you feel lost. Well, you have never really been anywhere; you have never dare step outside that small circle. The circle in which you seek immediate satisfaction over the struggle for something truly beautiful and fulfilling. But this is who you are, and this is your way of life, is it not? Is this you? Because I thought I knew you before you suddenly dissapeared. I have been unable to retrieve your pieces since. Still feeling lost? Well, you are not far from where you started, if you can only remember where that was.But you can't. You try to search within but you can't. It is not there. You have died many times during your life. Do you understand? You are living but you have nothing inside. You are numb to experience. You are the living dead. Where are you? Find yourself; though you will fail, time and time again, because you still have your eyes closed, because you have brazenly chosen to live content in darkness; you chose your destiny before you knew you ever had one.It takes courage to be yourself. And you have no idea who that may be.But let's not deviate from the subject now. This is about your truth, the one you fear: It's present now as you read these lines, your truth is omnipresent- no matter how many times you look the other way, it is still there, everywhere. "

- http://mariavsa.blogspot.com/



NOW I GET IT! I HOPE YOU CAN TOO!maybe it just isn't enough, maybe we'll find our end, when we start taking chances! maybe we were the wrong ones all this time! maybe we are just asking for too much. isn't that too much? maybe we need to stop trying to find hapiness in another people and start searching it on ourselves. maybe we need more than just reach for something in 1000 miles, lets try 3000 this time!
what do you say about taking chances?

"Jumping of a cliff only hurts if you forget how to fly"

FOI UM DAQUELES MOMENTOS DE CLAREZA. SABES QUE SOMETIIIMMESSSS DÁ-ME PARA PENSAR NAS COISAS MAIS RIDÍCULAS, E NAQUELAS QUE DAMOS A MAIOR IMPORTÂNCIA, E QUE NO FINAL ACABAMOS SEMPRE POR PERCEBER, THAT THEY WERE THE SAME ALL ALONG... LY Raquel Aquino

TIRED OF ALL THOSE KINGS OF CONVENIENCE

"IT'S A NEW DAY.but people remain unabashed.Yes. and No. Will it really change things? It's a remote possibility. The future is too good to live in the present.Fact: I prefer indifference towards everyone; let's make this simple."

- http://mariavsa.blogspot.com/

Feeling like a ghost...

"What is a ghost? A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again? An instant of pain, perhaps. Something dead which still seems to be alive. An emotion suspended in time. Like a blurred photograph. Like an insect trapped in amber. "

- http://mariavsa.blogspot.com/

Boys will be boys

"Too many dissapointments,Equals much skepticism.It is hard to find diamonds.But,Brush off the dust, and carry on.........."

- http://mariavsa.blogspot.com/

leaving the past behind

"What is in my heart:The force of the past has lessen.What mattered then, stays there; in a place where only dark feelings are stored, where they hide until diminished to a miniscule and insignificant size.
Today the air is new(and ever so fresh). Now the intensity of life is welcomed.Possibilities abound."



http://mariavsa.blogspot.com/

WHERE ARE YOU?

" A simple touch that ignites electricity. A peach to savour. A rose. Eyes that look intently beyond you. Magic. Wine. Roses. Let's dance. I'll be wearing a beautiful custom-made dress and gladly lose myself in the rythm of a graceful stride. Let's drink wine and toast for brilliance, toast for sheer bliss and common dreams, for sunnier days, for love and romance. Let's replace words with feelings, or communicate through dance; through motion. Where are you? One day we will meet, and I will share my entire existence with you. "


- http://mariavsa.blogspot.com/

A minha vida não é perfeita, porque a perfeição não deve ser encarado como algo atingível.

When you open your eyes, what do you see?

Message in a bottle

"i don't wanna let you go! it has been so hard since last summer! you know what you mean to me, i miss our evenings, i miss our cheereng conversations. i miss all thoose silly things that made us laugh, i miss drinking with you and i miss skype lol! its so hard for me to simply stand here and watch you leave for another thousand of months! you know how bad it can get, and now im dealing with it all by myself! i may not know you for that long, but we know each other like you know we do! sometimes, i cant even sleep, how difficult is it to believe? i just wanted to be there. each month that passes away, there's another story, there's another thought of regret. im really so tired of all this. i even didn't had the chance to say goodbye. if you're up by now please tell me when do you have to get to the airport! i swear i would go there just for you! i cant sleep anyway. as soon as you read this please return back. ly cheer!"


i meant all this cheer!

enviada:
terça-feira, 6 de janeiro de 2009
03:30:52

EVERYBODY HURTS!

You know you never meant to but you did...

" Brooke: What part of stay away from me did you not understand?
Lucas: Just give me 60 seconds, ok?
Brooke: I'm sorry but argument cut off with 9 o'clock.
Lucas: Well, I don't wanna argue. You even don't have to say anything, just, listen.
My dad didn't wanted me, ok? Not just because that he didn't wanted to claim me, he neither wanted me to be born. Now, I always thought that when I started a family I would be older, and settled, and I'd be...
Brooke: In love?
Lucas: Yeah... But sooner my mom...
Brooke: Lucas...
Lucas: No. This whole thing scares the hell out of me, ok? But whatever you decide to do, I'll be there. And if you're not ready, then you're not ready, but if you wanna have this baby, then so do I. And whatever it takes to be a good father, I'll be there. Always. I promise you. I won't let you down...
Brooke starts to cry.
Lucas: Hey, what's wrong?
Brooke: I lied...
Lucas: ...what?
Brooke: I'm not pregnant.
Lucas: But I saw the test...
Brooke:I know. But then when the doctor called he said, I wasn't pregnant... he said that can happen.
Lucas: Ok no no no no no! I was right there when he called.
Brooke: And you would just called me a slut!
Lucas: So you lie to me to punish me? How could you do that?
Brooke: How could you cheat on me with my best friend?
Lucas: Brooke, I never meant to hurt you.
Brooke: That doesn't really matter Lucas. Because in the end it all hurts just the same... "

runaway train, never coming back

" Karen: Where are you gonna go?
Keith: I don't know. But I gotta say, it feels really good to have options... "

Does your brain have a mind of its own?

"Lucas: What were we thinkin Peyton?
Peyton: You and me? Or you and Brooke?
Lucas: All of us.
Peyton: I...guess... we weren't... "