Goodbye...

I can't stand it. Cannot believe this happened to him, im tottally in shock.

Watching him getting killed made my heart stop. Actually, made me cry...

After all these months, all my will just disappeared.

I was with my mouth so dry watching it. I couldn't really see it, wich made it easier to feel.

This made me deal with death again, and i'm not only starting to remember it all, but i'm scared. Not only for me, but for the ones i love, the ones i need. Fear. it's all i feel right now. My heart is beating faster, i can feel it, when the only thing i felt was he stopping.

I'm too nervous to sleep, i hope to it all go away, i need to get focused that everything is gonna be alright.

i fear to lose it all... i want it so bad. hope everything continues to be amazing, couldn't stand to lose you like i 'lost' him...

(i'm starting to notice how weak i am...)