taking 2011 by storm, falling in love

"It's not like I won't find someone new, you know.

We both know it's not exactly a question about lack of choice. It's only a matter of time before I stumble across that person who will somehow make my world magic again. Just by looking at me he'll put a hundred different feelings in my body and my head will go completely blank when he smiles. My heart will skip a beat from the slightest sound of my phone, and everything I do when he's not around will be colored by his absence.

I will meet someone who doesn't have that need of playing games and instead of following all kinds of rules, simply follows his heart. Someone who makes me wanna look past all the times I've been hurt and feel like it's actually worth risking everything again. Someone who makes me wanna fight my fears of opening up so I can let him in, because the thought of him not knowing me completely is far worse than my fear of rejection.

He will sigh at my stupid jokes and the way I tend to forget stuff and mess everything up, but deep down he'll love it because love's not about accepting each others flaws, it's about loving them because they make us who we are. I will find somebody for whom I am prepared to show not just the strong, independent side of me that the rest of the world know, but also the insecurities that make me wake up in the middle in the night crying because I'm sick of hurting.

He will not give me my confidence back or make me love myself again. I have no need for a fairytale prince who lifts me up on his white horse and saves me. He will make me complete though, in a way no one has ever done before, and together we will get struck by love so hard that nothing will ever be the same again. You see, I know he's out there and I won't stop until I find him. Cause I deserve nothing less than to love someone who loves me back and this I know. So there's really no need for you to worry. He could be right around the corner when I walk out this door today.

The thing is,
With all my heart
I still wish he could have been you."

de facto i really am

sis

At first you loved me, I didn't care, it was fun. You were beautiful, not as much in your body as in your smile and your all-loving nature. I got addicted to your attention but I wasn't ready for the closeness. At last i surrendered, and that is the story of how I lost it all. It endured for 12 agonizing months. We both changed in the wrong direction. We came too far from what we really were inside. Now love is gone. It was untrue to my heart, and cruel to yours to be like that. I'm too selfish. I always ended up getting hurt from some indifferent things you said, and I always thought it was something terrible about how you didn't like me anymore - anything could be translated to this.

It's like this baby I once heard of. She lived in an orphanage where the "parents" didn't give the children enough to drink. After 1½ year of only the very smallest amount of water the girl was taken away, she was placed in a new family. The new parents wondered why she would go around hiding cups and glasses of water all over their house, in the strangest of places. But knowing her story, they wouldn't have wondered at all... I wish I was wise and knew always what to say. I wish I was cool and always sweet and helpful. But the fact is I wasn't. I was just too busy running around trying to hide your love in so many places that in the end we both got so confused that we even forgot how to be friends. I wish I could go back and change it all, maybe slap my self in the head and make me understand that sometimes saying and doing nothing is the most loving thing you can do. Love is, when you write about it, easily becoming clichés, that is because love in its form IS a cliché, but love in its art is very rare. I think I've learned my lesson. Wish you'd come back to me Elaine...

Guybrush

tenho vergonha de ti. mesmo a séééériooooo. god. qual orgulho qual quê. mas puff.

bang bang you're dead!

im kinda afraid of falling in love again, it's been absolutely perfect, sorry for being such a chicken :x i wanna let you in. you've been exactly what i wanted and needed, so please, pleaseee don't hurt me anymore okay? i swear, my heart and head are already too bruised to be harmed again by a fancy boy.

please, be a prince charming okay?

"This could be nothing, but i'm willing to give it a try."

"Tu não perdes pela demora, e no fim tudo se evapora"

nojo.

He ate my heart.

preciso de paz de espírito. preciso de fingir que nós nunca existimos. não há outra maneira possível. continuas a fazer o meu coração acelerar e ao mesmo tempo consegues fazê-lo parar. pleaseee finge que não existes pode ser?